she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
