Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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