They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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