I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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