ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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