He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
