Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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