i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
