I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I woke up under a house in Key West
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
