What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
