i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
