AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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