Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
