your room smells of hookers.
And success
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
