I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
