Porn is love you can see.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
