Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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