i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
