you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
