Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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