so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
