I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
