My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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