bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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