you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
