at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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