i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
