oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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