He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
