you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
