Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
