Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
