Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
