no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
