need another drink. this is the easiest way
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
