You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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