What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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