If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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