lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
His nipple licking is glorious
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