So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
