I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
