I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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