Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
