the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
