im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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