I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
