i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
