Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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