Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
