I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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